Thursday, August 5, 2010

Ticks Are Everywhere

I hate ticks.

And I'm vegan.

Because I love animals.

Even leeches.

But ticks? I hate.

They don't do anything other than suck your blood and infect you with diseases. They don't keep their diseases to themselves and when they attach, they don't have the common courtesy to anti-coagulate your blood. They get plump and fat and if they're in a good mood, they fall  off. But sometimes they just sit there, fat and ugly and fat some more. Not all fat creatures are ugly, mind you, but ticks are.

After a walk yesterday, three ticks made their way home with me and the dogs. One crawled up my arm. One crawled on my bed.

Worst of all, one attached itself to Mina's eye. Okay, not her actual eye, but the little flap of skin directly beneath her eye. I looked at her and thought, "Wow, Mina has some extra eyeliner on today, that's attractive" and then realized it was a tick.

There it was, just sitting there, legs waving madly, head firmly embedded into Mina's lower lid.

I tried to grab it, but Mina was all "HEY!" and by "HEY!" I mean Mina kept trying to lick my face. Every time I grabbed the tick with my fingers, Mina leaned in and gave me kisses. I told her to stop it, but then she got all maudlin on me, inspiring much guilt.

The tweezers were busted out, and I tugged that tick right out from Mina's eyelid. She was unperturbed. I squealed and ranted and told the tick he was a very, very, very bad tick. And then I flushed him down the toilet. I figure this fulfills my goal of causing the least amount of harm and gives the tick a fighting chance at survival. Somewhere else far, far away.

In conclusion, I hate ticks. But ticks love me and the dogs.

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